Jonah Engler a child often becomes all alone at home during the weekends, especially when forced. To stay indoors during the hot summer days or when it is snowing, completely cut off from the friends, and just not knowing what to do. They lose interest in everything around them, and even the new toys. That looked attractive till the other day seem to lose all attraction. These are the times when your child does not know how to stay engaged to spend time and feels utterly bored. While complaining about the helplessness in dealing with the situation. Suddenly, everything seems blank and listless as the child is unable to do the tasks that come to them naturally to help them. Stay playful and enjoy every moment of life while deriving extreme satisfaction from it. Children want to have fun, stay involved, and relish the surge of abundant initiative that surrounds childhood. When they become disconnected, they suffer.
That feeling of exasperation on the child’s face accompanied by the frequent tantrums to draw the attention of parents leave them perplexed as they are unable to figure out the remedy. According to Jonah Engler, a sense of connection ignites a spark of enthusiasm among children. That keeps them engaged and active. The caring and attention of parents generate a sense of understanding. And love that fuel creativity and activism in children as they enjoy every moment of their lives. When children feel lonely, it creates a disconnect that makes them lose interest in everything they have and see around them. The shine in the child’s eyes disappears, and parents have a tough time to make the child smile once again.
Parents are at a loss as their attempts to fix the child’s boredom by listing activities and luring them into action proves futile. The problem is not a lack of opportunity to have fun but more because of a feeling of disconnect that prevents them from enjoying life like before. The remedy is not in the forceful engagement of the child but rather in restoring the warmth generated by paying close attention.
Advice from Jonah Engler – What parents can try to relieve the child from boredom
Jonah Engler when you see your child moaning and listless, it could be a cause of irritation for you but never vent your frustration on the child. Instead, whatever resentment, anger, or worry that you go through in this situation. Should be doused by talking to some other adult with whom you can pour your heart. This should help to scrub your mind and then turn your attention to the child with the renewed interest of connecting. With the beleaguered soul struck with boredom. All that you must do is to get closer to the child to allow him or she to feel the warmth of care and love and pay all attention that the child needs.
Be subtle and sensitive.
Make your presence felt without much bustling and move close to your child. It will bring a sense of pleasure in him or her and generate interest in the situation. Be empathetic to the child and share the concerns by listening patiently to the complaints and stay attentive all the while. Get up and close to the child by sitting next to him or her right. At the place where she stays put since the time boredom struck. Start interacting with the child by snuggling and making eye contact to give a sense of comfort and assurance. That the good times would be back again very soon. Listen attentively to what the child says about the awful experience as it opens the channels of communication. And lends the desired warmth that makes the child comfortable. Remember that your attention is more important than the ideas that you might like to share.
Engage physically
After listening to the child, offer physical contact even though the child will still feel bored. Physical touch is helpful as long as the child agrees to it, and it is offered without any agenda or purpose. The spirit could be lightly playful or sweet, like seeking permission to rub the forehead of the child or massaging. The little toe and going up to the knee that could be comforting at that moment. If your attempts in comforting the child meet with a refusal, do not feel discouraged. Take it lightly and add some humor if possible, and ask for one more time. Be persistent but without pressing hard yet not giving up easily.
Be a good listener
If your child keeps complaining about boredom for quite some time. It is a sign of a deep sense of isolation. That manifests in the form of boredom. It may be that disconnect has not occurred in the present life but perhaps entrenched in the past. Maybe in early childhood, which has suddenly bubbled and surfaced through the child’s emotional memory. By listening attentively to your child, you can deliver the most potent antidote. If your child wants to cry about how stale life is now bereft of fun, listen to the outburst, which is a part of the solution. Maintain your interest in what the child can tell you and, in any feelings, expressed during the interaction.
After spending 10-15 minutes listening and staying close to your child. Without trying to find a solution to the problem and after your child has calmed, it is time to try out some fanciful solutions. Suggest some outlandish thoughts to see if it elicits a smile or giggle. Laughter is the stingiest connector of human beings. And some silly ideas that resonate with your child might help to move things slightly.
You could suggest something that matches the child’s tastes like a suggestion for making concoctions in the kitchen. If your child has an inclination for culinary and then encourage to get it tested by you. For adventure-loving kids, suggesting about water gunfights outside in the cold weather or experimenting in ways different materials. Burn could be fun enough that generates raptures of laughter and revive your child’s sense of connection.
Even if things do not work, hanging around and staying close to your child should help to rebuild your child’s sense of reconnection. Which sees the child back into action and life once again.