As parents, we wish to give our kids the very best in life. We aspire to provide them with every opportunity to be successful, happy, and fulfilled. But most of all, we want them to grow up to be kind, generous, happy, and empathetic adults. And yet, Jonah Engler explains that sometimes in our quest to give our children the best, we often unwittingly do things that sabotage their chances of achieving those very goals.
Jonah Engler believes that there are some habits that parents need to give up if they want their children to grow up to be well-adjusted, successful, and happy adults.
Jonah Engler’s Guide to Habits Parents Must Avoid
1. Being overprotective
Jonah Engler agrees that while it’s natural to want to protect your children from hurt or harm, being overprotective can actually do more harm than good. It can prevent them from developing a sense of independence and self-reliance and learning how to cope with setbacks and disappointments.
2. Trying to be perfect
No one is perfect – not you, not your partner, and not your children. Trying to be perfect is an impossible and stressful goal that can set your children up for a lifetime of disappointment.
3. Being a control freak
Trying to control everything in your children’s lives – from what they eat and drink to how they spend their time – is not only exhausting it’s also counterproductive. It can lead to them feeling resentful and rebellious and can stifle their creativity and independence.
4. Constantly criticizing
Constructive criticism is important, but constantly picking at your children’s faults is not going to do them any favors. It will only make them feel insecure and lacking in self-confidence.
5. Failing to listen
We all want to be heard, and our children are no different. Taking the time to really listen to what they have to say shows them that you value their thoughts and opinions.
6. Ignoring their feelings
Children’s emotions are just as valid as adults’, even if they seem irrational to us at times. Ignoring or belittling their feelings will only make them feel unheard and misunderstood.
7. Not giving them any choice
Giving your children some control over their lives – whether it’s what they wear, where they go, or what they eat – is important for their development. It helps them feel empowered, secure, and capable and teaches them how to make decisions.
8. Making everything about them
While it’s important to make your children feel loved and valued, making everything about them is not healthy for either of you. It can make them feel entitled and spoiled and foster a sense of narcissism and superiority.
9. Being too lax
While it’s important not to be too strict, being too lax with your children can also have its drawbacks. They need boundaries and guidelines in order to feel safe and secure and to learn right from wrong.
10. Comparing them to other children
Comparing your children to other people – whether it’s their siblings, their classmates, or the neighbor’s kids – is bound to make them feel insecure and inferior. It’s important to remind them that everyone is unique and special in their own way.
Jonah Engler understands that while it’s not always easy, giving up these 10 habits will help you be a better parent and raise happier, healthier, and well-adjusted children.